If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
