but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
