Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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