Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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