sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Sext me about skeletons
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
