i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
