I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
