Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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