glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
