Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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