Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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