How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
