Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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