How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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