if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
