i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
