friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
