Your tits are I can't wait for
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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