Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
