Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
