woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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