Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
