Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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