pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
another moral hangover. fuck.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
They have beer where we have blood.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
