I haven't been this sober since birth.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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