He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
