I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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