when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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