I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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