I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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