i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
