He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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