your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
