Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize