To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
im holly from the hills drunk
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
And then he peed in my hair
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