what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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