Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
