He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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