I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
