Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
