i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
