Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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