I'm gonna have a badass scar
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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