my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
we're chasing vodka with high fives
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
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