the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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