first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
