Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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