drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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