I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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