Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
