sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
