we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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